"I am an instrument in the shape
of a WOMAN trying to translate pulsations
into images
for the relief of the body
and the reconstruction of the mind."

written by Adrienne Cecile Rich

Sunday, July 15, 2007

mothers should be philosophers and leaders of the world

i talked to my mother, and i feel okay now. i don't know why mothers have a way of clearing up perspectives for their children.

had philosophers been mothers, we'd have so much love in this world. we'd have so much less to think about, and more time to love ourselves and one another. are mothers existentialists?

i feel so much better talking to her. i know that her reassurances are true, and she knows me better than even i know myself.

i'll take this day by day, little by little. i know i can make it if i just take it bit by bit. cakes aren't supposed to be swallowed whole.

there will be hurts, but i know i can take them. take them with composure and poise, as my friend nic would say. i know i can heal.

i need to forgive myself, love myself, and try to walk on the right path, step by step, carefully minding that i do not stumble upon rocks. but if i do, there is nothing else to do but stand up again, scrape off the dirt, and continue on.

i love my mother. better than that, i love myself. thanks mom.

p.s. i went on a movie date with my sister joanne. been so long since i went out with her, and i'm wondering how in the world that now we don't have anything in common when we grew up together. we shared everything... schools, barkadas, things, sometimes clothes and shoes. when we were little kids people asked my mom if we're twins. i share a room with her, and sometimes i think it's the only thing i share with her. if i must start life over, i must try to connect again with my sister fwee fwee (i call her that sometimes).


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Saturn's precious star
the elder sister
a squirrel under the oak
never early
Venus' healing herb
la luna de la noche
a girl of wishes
pride inside
pretending to be smart
nicely tucked in
a lady not poised
the talahiranya

Location: San Juan, Philippines

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