"I am an instrument in the shape
of a WOMAN trying to translate pulsations
into images
for the relief of the body
and the reconstruction of the mind."

written by Adrienne Cecile Rich

Saturday, February 10, 2007

betty botta bought a bit of bitter butter

i suppose every girlfriend ex-girlfriend goes through this phase. and the heck with kiddos who still send heartbreak messages even with the globe subscribers' boycott of unli texting. you guys are just wasting your load. i erased so many of those messages, until i regret doing that since i could have a very good use for them.

bitter message number one: It hurts to say goodbye to someone that (grammar check... someone whom, man) you almost gave your life to, knowing that life won't be the same without that person. But it's better to give up the feeling that than to know that you're the only one fighting.

(gaga, if you feel that the relationship is one-sided from the start, warning signs are blaring that he's not the one for you.)

bitter message number two: You go to bed early, only to find that you can't sleep at all. You reach out for chocolate for a happy fix, 5 empty wrappers later, you feel twice as miserable and thrice as fat. You go out and get as inhumanely drunk as possible, yet when sober up in the morning, hangover aside, reality seems too painfully clear. That's the messed up part about heartbreaks. We make excuses to blind ourselves, yet deep down in the gut, nix the perfect fronts--it just fucking hurts.

(and two years later he's still on your mind. get up and go out there. never mind that it hurts, but c'mon, being like that would make him think why he left you in the first place. get up, embrace your inner beauty. by the time he sees you again, his jaw will be eating his balls and he'll think how he's such a loser by dumping you.)

bitter message number three: the worst feeling is how much you love someone, how much he loves you back, how perfect you are together but for a million reasons, you can never be together.

(i have only one thing to say to this: tanga mo. kung hindi ukol, di talaga bubukol, kahit gaano mo pa pilitin ate. there's a saying that if there's a will, there's a way, so if he loves you, then he must make the right choices for you to be together. but don't be a homewrecker, please. we have enough dysfunctional families in the world right now.)

bitter message number four: you know, maybe cupid should shoot himself with his own damn arrow so he can feel how much love hurts!

(nangdamay ka pa. if you know your mythology, and the love story between cupid and psyche, you'd know that even cupid went through heartbreak when psyche didn't keep faith. ah, well, in the end they were together. love and soul intertwined in marriage--cupid being the god of love, and psyche whose name means soul. hahaha.)

i erased so many of these bitter messages because i thought they were mindless, but now i have good use for them. i'll be editing this post when i find a few more of that bitterness in us. waha.


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Saturn's precious star
the elder sister
a squirrel under the oak
never early
Venus' healing herb
la luna de la noche
a girl of wishes
pride inside
pretending to be smart
nicely tucked in
a lady not poised
the talahiranya

Location: San Juan, Philippines

Notes and scribbles of a wayward child

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