no fear?

mood: blanketed
currently: (supposed to be) working


bakit ba ako ang receiving end ng kamalasan sa relationships?

i’m not saying i’m the loser in all of my relationships, but i just feel that i’m the unfortunate one. it’s sad to realize that i have given more than what they can give me.

okay, i’m not dissing; i’m simply stating facts. one played with me, one was a coward, and another one was too weak for me. how’s that for a numbers game?

from this point of view, i’m starting to realize that i may be unlovable. ha. ouch.

i give so much of myself into relationships, thinking that by doing so, my significant other would do the same. usually it doesn’t happen. in the end i’m the first one to get hurt.

but it’s not really fun to not give so much in a relationship. it’s the hesitations, the doubts, the inhibitions that kill me, so i try not to be that.

well, i know one day someone will match my strength in a relationship. There’s gotta be someone man enough to be that way with me. i want to be loved in the way i love. it can be complicated, but yes, it’s possible. But in the present, not probable.

i’ve had this lingering question in my mind. maybe that person who could be man enough to love me is actually a woman. what if… ?