"I am an instrument in the shape
of a WOMAN trying to translate pulsations
into images
for the relief of the body
and the reconstruction of the mind."

written by Adrienne Cecile Rich

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

no fear?

mood: blanketed
currently: (supposed to be) working

bakit ba ako ang receiving end ng kamalasan sa relationships?

i’m not saying i’m the loser in all of my relationships, but i just feel that i’m the unfortunate one. it’s sad to realize that i have given more than what they can give me.

okay, i’m not dissing; i’m simply stating facts. one played with me, one was a coward, and another one was too weak for me. how’s that for a numbers game?

from this point of view, i’m starting to realize that i may be unlovable. ha. ouch.

i give so much of myself into relationships, thinking that by doing so, my significant other would do the same. usually it doesn’t happen. in the end i’m the first one to get hurt.

but it’s not really fun to not give so much in a relationship. it’s the hesitations, the doubts, the inhibitions that kill me, so i try not to be that.

well, i know one day someone will match my strength in a relationship. There’s gotta be someone man enough to be that way with me. i want to be loved in the way i love. it can be complicated, but yes, it’s possible. But in the present, not probable.

i’ve had this lingering question in my mind. maybe that person who could be man enough to love me is actually a woman. what if… ?


  • At 4/11/2007 6:39 PM, Blogger [.MARCHiE.] mused…

    there's only one reason for every heartache raw, ate- God knows we deserve someone better. don't give up. kaya lang talaga yan. :]

    and the last statement..

    *pabitin epek rin ako. hahah!*

  • At 4/12/2007 12:21 AM, Blogger Luisa mused…

    same here...at least you're not alone right??


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Saturn's precious star
the elder sister
a squirrel under the oak
never early
Venus' healing herb
la luna de la noche
a girl of wishes
pride inside
pretending to be smart
nicely tucked in
a lady not poised
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