"I am an instrument in the shape
of a WOMAN trying to translate pulsations
into images
for the relief of the body
and the reconstruction of the mind."


Planetarium
written by Adrienne Cecile Rich




Tuesday, August 28, 2007

PRSP Grand Prix Finalist!

i'm so excited! finals on sept. 9!

i'm happy that we made it this far, that our hard work paid off. it's enough for me to get to the finals, it's already a big deal for me, to be able to present our campaign in front of those judges and the other schools on sept. 9.

and it's sooo near my birthday. haha. what a nice birthday gift... finals! woohoo.

but that would mean sept 8 (my birthday) is prep time for 9, and i won't have enough time to celebrate since quantitative paper deadline is on sept 10.

i wish i can breath now. if only i can. everything's happening so fast.

i'm feeling better everyday, and getting less depressed (but frustrations still mount up sometimes).

my friend norries gave me the best piece of advice i've heard in a very long time: i have to learn forgiveness. forgive others who have hurt me, forgive myself for my shortcomings. there's no use in getting angry at so many people (including me) and at so many things.

i get depressed mostly because i let my frustrations get the best of me. i let my anger reside in my heart that peace can't settle in. that's my problem. i had to forgive, and to forget, past hurts.

he told me to ask the Lord to learn forgiveness. i had always asked for peace and for healing, but while i get less numb every day, i still need peace within. i had to put in action what i am asking for.

everyday i feel more and more blessed. so many times i have counted what i lost that i didn't count what i already have and will still get in the future. i am blessed, and what i don't have won't make me less of a person.

i may be less blessed or more blessed than other people, but that doesn't really matter. so many people care for me that it fills me up with happiness. i have so much to give and to share with people, that it doesn't matter how much i lost in the process. i have much more to gain than what i have lost anyway. and it's always good to be reminded that i have Someone who ultimately cares for me and loves me unconditionally, not matter how many mistakes i made.

it feels so good to be happy, simply because i'm living this life. i may be tired and weary of doing what i must do, but it's always for a purpose.

soldiers are always readied before battles. battles are won before wars. and wars need the best generals. i have the best General there is.

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!SANIPRIYA

I AM
Saturn's precious star
culture-bound
the elder sister
a squirrel under the oak
never early
Venus' healing herb
la luna de la noche
a girl of wishes
pride inside
pretending to be smart
nicely tucked in
a lady not poised
the talahiranya



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